Posts by Billy the Ex-Bethelite

we all know that the doctrine and dogma of the wts is completely false, so i'm not even going to include topics like "trinity" or "gehenna" or anything like that in my personal list.. but i'd like to see what other people list as their top five most harmful jw teachings.. #5. females in the congregation are inferior to males.. #4. you must override your personal conscience in favour of wts rules, even when you know it's wrong.. #3. shunning disfellowshippedtm and disassociatedtm individuals, without being allowed to form your own opinion or hear their side of the story, even when it is a family member or close friend, this teaching destroys families and results in far too many people taking their own lives from the agony of being rejected by the only people they have ever had relationships with.. #2. forsaking higher education, well-paid employment and planning for retirement.. #1. the no-blood rule has cost more lives since it was first introduced by rutherford than jonestown, 10 times over..

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

I don't think I can improve your list.

25

exJW Psychology 103--Let's Reconsider "Confidentiality"

by Billy the Ex-Bethelite in

jw
friends

over the course of decades as a jw, an elder, a bethelite, then learning ttatt and wanting to leave, i'd collected a lot of insight into the power of "confidentiality.

" although the confidentiality in a judicial hearing is supposedly to protect the sinner, in actuality, i saw that it was about control and was protecting the power of the jc.. i didn't use any of this knowledge until i was called before the boe because the other elders figured they had grounds to remove me as an elder.

it was a work situation that only lasted a matter of hours, but it was enough that they seized the moment.

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

"I wonder what they would have said, had you asked them why they hadn't told the ratfinks Brothers™ who reported to them to apply Jesus' counsel to speak to you about their complaints themselves (Matthew 18:15-17) before squealing going to the BoE?"

I knew exactly who were behind it. It was one of the elders and one of the ministerial servants. A few others got sucked in, but those two were the ringleaders. It was so weird to hear the elders ducking the question with excuses that, "we had calls from several of the friends," blah, blah, blah. When the one elder paid me the "friendly" visit. He owned up that only the ministerial servants and elders and their wives knew anything about it. Those "calls from several of the friends" were just the elders calling each other.

"1Pet 4:15 "Let none of your suffer as a ... busybody in other people's matters"."

Being busybodies is the only thing most JWs are able to do. They certainly don't have lives of their own.

54

Was I too harsh?

by chrisuk in

jw
friends

hello, first let me apologixe for both my spelling and my grammer in advance, both are not my strong points.. i'll keep this short.

since i've been a child my mother has studied on and off with jw's ( i'm now 34) so i've been around it most of my life, i studied on and off myself for around 10 years.

thank's to this site and jwfacts i'll never study or step foot inside a kingdom hall again.

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

Welcome!

It wasn't harsh. When I was a little kid and got insulted and swore at, now that was too harsh.

41

exJW Psychology 101--Keeping Your Cool While Fading

by Billy the Ex-Bethelite in

jw
friends

in an effort to get some help and hopefully help others, i'd like to start this thread about psychology, specifically starting with the subject of anger management.. .

personally, i don't have much of a temper.

what i do have, i've learned to control.

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

I've told this story before, but I think it's worth recounting here. This happened back when I was young and it was a sibling that recounted it to me only about a year ago. To me it was a rather matter-of-fact event that I'd long forgotten.

I rarely got into trouble... like my siblings did. When Dad was mad, he'd give the silent treatment. It tore my siblings to pieces. Sometime when I'd done something that he didn't like, he gave me the silent treatment. This sibling remembers saying to me while we were all at the dinner table, "Dad's giving you the silent treatment, aren't you upset?"

My indifferent response, as she recalls, "I really don't want to talk to him anyway."

That was the last time that he used the silent treatment. I don't remember it after that from him. One of my sisters tried giving me the silent treatment when she was mad at me, but she "gave up" on it long before I would have. And I'm sure our parents were more upset by what was happening than either of us kids were. How could my parents condemn me/us for being "passive aggressive" when they had taught us how to use it? So, as I've said before, I'd disfellowship the congregation before they could disfellowship me.

Billy=99%"nice guy"+1%"heartless SOB"... it's that 1% that makes all the difference.

Although I was smart, funny, and kind, I think my parents were afraid I'd become an a$shole if they kept setting a "traditional JW" example. Sure, they might be happy if I was still attending meetings, but at what cost? There are so many JWs in their congregation that they would never want as children. And so many of the kids we've grown up have faded, nobody in the congregation makes that much of a deal about it, I think.

sd7: "I haven't even really felt able to give them a call on the phone, even though my dad's never been a JW."

There have been several times when I called as a matter of principle, rather than out of desire. Sometimes the calls were brief, just checking in on their health. In my case, my parents have become so lonely that they are starved for human contact and will sometimes talk for hours without WT issues coming up. I always feel better after talking to them, even if the conversation didn't go great. In the end, I know I did the right thing.

"I just f***ed it all up and never had the chance. "

And there have been several times when I thought, "I've really f***ed things up now!" But I've taken the chance by reaching out, and in my case, by parents have reached back. It makes Sparlock sad when people don't believe in the magic of unf***ing things up. [I need a Sparlock emoticon here. LOL]

And I certainly don't mean to sound preachy that my psychology will always work, or that it's the only way to fade, or the only way to leave. Frankly, there's lots of right ways to get out of the cult. And I've heard of enough nutso JW families where I'd just tie the relationship up in a bag with several rocks and dump it in the lake.

Lois: "Get up extra early. Go to convention site early for best seats. Visit. Program starts. Fall fast asleep. Wake up to clapping and singing, then back asleep."

My folks would usually stay awake and take notes, but I don't think they do anymore. There used to be a convention review during the Service Meeting, but I think that's pretty well eliminated, so there wasn't much point of taking notes.

And I'm wondering if the "no education" topic was hit hard at their DC. That's something they don't agree with. How can they go to doctors and take medicine, yet condemn the higher education that makes that possible? And all this new emphasis on technology and electronics rather than the printed word. It's not the JWs on public aid that are coming up with these advances.

19

My Grandma passed away

by Kool Jo in

jw
friends

good day all:.

while at work a couple days ago, i got a call that my grandma passed away.

she would've been 86 next week, but she still lived her life...so i'm getting emails ect from my home congregation from folks just checking up on me.

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

Sorry for your loss.

"I realized that these folks seem happy."

That brings back the JW-speak, "they may seem happy, but they're not really joyful like we are." Meanwhile, half the sheeples at the hall are taking anti-depressants.

You can count on several JWs saying dumb stuff at moments like this.

41

Passed my Post Grad with 'Outstanding' grade! Shows it's never too late.

by Lozhasleft in

jw
friends

i've just had the official results on my pgce.

i'm not posting here to boast, but to encourage any who may have abandoned education because of the pressure as a jw, and who may feel that it's too late to return and achieve such goals.

in the 1980s i stopped halfway through my b.ed honours and accepted a dip.h.e.

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

Congrats!

Well, "believe" and "hard work"

20

New Job

by LouBelle in

jw
friends

hey everyone.

so i left the old company behind, the one that wasn't paying me.

they still owe me a little bit of money but have them on record and signed documentation that i'll receive payment by the close of this month.

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

I'm wishing you the best of luck!

11

Don't You Have Faith??????

by TOTH in

jw
friends

awhile back i posted about my wife's father passing away.

despite her not attending meetings or even the memorial in quite some time, she and her father were always very close.

he understood her condition and did not fault her for not attending or not being active.

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

"Even Jesus cried when Lazarus died and he had the power to resurrect."

Also, Acts 9:36-42, do they think that all the widows were weeping for joy over the death of Dorcas?

"Her brother held her and his wife went to her very robitically and asked her, "Don't you believe in the resurrection? Don't you have faith in Jehovah? Why are you making a scene here?""

Pfft, Doesn't she believe in the resurrection? Why doesn't she run into traffic right now so that she could be in the panda-petting paradise in what would seem to her as only seconds? I suspect that no tears would be shed at her funeral.

"I see her falling into a depression because of her dad being gone and what she held close to her as faith is now coming apart at the seams."

Professional counselling? Maybe a visit with a real Christian?